Tag: jesus

Worth Living For?

by crossroadsministriesmass, posted in Uncategorized, Christian, homeless, suicide

“Are the things you are living for worth Christ dying for?”

Leonard Ravenhill

While pondering this quote by Leonard Ravenhill, my mind traveled back to when I was twelve.  I hated my life and can remember spending much of my early adolescent years seriously assessing it. I carefully considered the hand life dealt me and weighed my options. To me, life felt totally unfair.  To be forced to live a life I did not ask for or want was just wrong. I had experienced a lot of bad things and had no hope that anything good could or would come from my life. All I could see was what I perceived as my deficits, those of being poor, being Black and being emotionally scarred from growing up in a dysfunctional family while living on Maryland’s Lower Eastern Shore in the 1960s.  No matter how hard I tried, I could not understand why some people got to be born into families where they were loved, wanted, cared for, protected and provided for, while others, like me, struggled just to survive.  I felt it all was random, unfair, unjust and unbelievably cruel! 

As I mentally processed this, I asked myself questions like, “Since you did not choose or ask to be born, why are you alive? Since you’re miserable and hate your life so much, why suffer through it? And since you are doomed to fail in life without anything good, why continue going through all this agony? Why do you have to continue living it?  Why live a life of misery without hope?” Then I answered, “I don’t!” And I decided to kill myself. I was twelve. Please hear me! By the time I was 12 years old, I had taken a careful assessment of my life and concluded that it was of no value. The pain and suffering I had experienced in childhood and early adolescent years coupled with the fear of being trapped into an unjust and hopeless future without escape, eclipsed every other thought in my young mind.  Continuing to live the life handed to me with no way out of it was unthinkable, so when no one was around, I grabbed the pills I found in the medicine cabinet, downed them all, and went to sleep, hoping to never live another painful day.   

When I woke up from my intentional overdose, my head was spinning, everything was fuzzy.  At first, I thought my suicide attempt had been successful, but as my head cleared, I realized that I was still very much alive.  Devastated and angry, I called myself every demeaning name I could think of. “You dummy, you’re so (screwed) up, you couldn’t even kill yourself.” I had failed to end my misery.  I lied there defeated. Then, I heard, “You cannot die until I say so.”  I looked around.  Who was talking to me? I was alone. Even though it was not audible, that voice was real. One would think I would be awed or something, but no, instead, I was irate!  Who had the nerve to tell me that I could not end my own life? until they said so?  Who felt they had enough power to keep me alive when I was determined to die; To keep me living a life I did not want to live? I now know Almighty God did. I did not know Him then and it made absolutely no sense to me. Why did anyone care whether I lived or died. One of the reasons I had chosen to die was because I did not believe anyone cared. You see, I had picked up the responsibility for my life when I was eight.  I trusted no one, and I felt no one cared about me; so, this was confusing. Someone that had power over my life cared about whether I lived or died.

How does this relate to Leonard Ravenhill’s quote?  “Are the things you are living for worth Christ dying for?” By twelve, I felt there was nothing in my life worth living for. The fact that I am alive today is a miracle of God’s grace. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I would be dead today had it not been for God’s intervention.  As I correctly assessed at twelve, my life has not been an easy one, but even though checking out of it crossed my mind sometimes during its most difficult seasons, I never again attempted to kill myself. The one who holds my life in his hand has used those hard times to reveal Himself to me.

Now, in my seventies, I can joyfully say “For me, to live is Christ.” God touched me at the local Baptist Church that same year and gave me the grace to believe in Jesus and to get baptized. I was able to understand that Jesus Christ died for my sins, and He rose from the grave signifying that God had forgiven me for the bad things I had done, but that was about all I knew. Not much changed in my life. Years later after being devastated by my failed marriage, I started reading and studying the Bible. That was when I began to understand what Jesus Christ died for. That was when life began to make sense and that was when I got a glimpse of what I was living for.

The God of the Bible, the God that created us in His image and likeness, loves us.  Remember John 3:16-17: “ For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” Jesus died so we would not perish but have eternal life. In John 10:10, Jesus tells us he came and died so that we (you and I) would have life and have life abundantly.  It became clear to me that Jesus Christ died to redeem our lives from destruction, deliver us from the power of death and give us life overflowing and eternally. In short, Jesus died so we could live the life God created us to live! Our “LIVING” is what Christ died for!  

Romans 5:8 tells us that “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus died not only that we would have a full life and eternal life, but also that we would be able to receive the joy of knowing Him and knowing how deeply we are loved. Knowing, not just being told He loves us, but by Him dying to demonstrate His love and the Father’s love for us. Since coming to know our precious Lord and His love and being blessed to experience the life He created me to live, my heart and life overflow with gratitude. All I can do is thank God for loving me and giving me life to live it with and for Him.

So, what things are you living for? Is it riches, fame, romance, status, material things?  Are they worth Christ dying for? Thank God, I now joyously choose life and answer, “YES,” by God’s grace and with his help, I choose to live my life fully for Him. He is worth it.  He is the only one worth it.  He is worth everything I have ever gone through, no matter how difficult, embarrassing, humiliating, sorrowful or painful it was.  He is worth all that I am, everything I have, and all that I ever hope to be or have.  He is worth living for, and because of Him I live today.  I pray that Jesus Christ is what you are living for, as well.  To me, it is the only thing one can live for that is worth Christ dying for.  “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20 NASB) What about you?

Eartha Harris

An Exceptionally Good Friday

by crossroadsministriesmass, posted in Christian, Uncategorized

As I listened to CeCe Winans sing Alabaster Box my heart was drawn into worship as it overflowed with thanksgiving for our precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This Good Friday, I pray you, like me, were able to pour your thanksgiving and praise on Him (Jesus) like oil from Mary’s alabaster box. He is so worthy! As we reflect on His suffering and death and realize what he has done, how can we not worship Him! Nothing about that Friday when he suffered, bled, and died on that cross was a good day for Him in the natural, but it definitely was an exceptionally good Friday for you and for me.

“I can’t forget the way life used to be.
I was a prisoner to the sin that had me bound…
until the day when Jesus came to me
and healed my soul with the wonder of His touch.
So now I’m giving back to him all the praise He’s worthy of.
I’ve been forgiven and that’s why I love Him so much!
“You weren’t there the night Jesus found me.
You did not feel what I felt when he wrapped
his loving arms all around me.
You don’t know the cost of the oil.
You don’t know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box.” 

Adapted from CeCe Winans’ Alabaster Box

Sunday is coming! We know that Jesus rose from the grave, victoriously. Death could not hold him. Hallelujah! Praise God! He is alive and in Him we have received newness of life. Because he paid the price, we live. Our sins have been forgiven. In that we rejoice. But first, before we shout in His victory over death (and ours), please join me in pausing to consider the vast cost of our salvation. It cost God everything! And He was willing to pay it for you and me. Let us take a moment to pour our love and praise on Him like the oil from Mary’s alabaster box. He deserves nothing less. What do you think?

“But He was pierced for our offenses,
He was crushed for our wrongdoings;
The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him,
And by His wounds we are healed.
All of us, like sheep, have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the wrongdoing of us all
To fall on Him.”

Isaiah 53:5-6

Eartha Harris

Thanking God for John Mattrick

by crossroadsministriesmass, posted in Christian, Uncategorized

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35 NASB)

John J. Mattrick

One way the Lord has blessed us at Crossroads has been through the men and women of God he sent to partner with us in this home mission ministry. John Mattrick was one such person. We remember John with love having recently learned he finished his race and has gone home to be with our Lord.

We were truly fortunate to have had John as a friend and a true Christian brother. He was as genuine as they get. John, an accountant, volunteered at Crossroads by donating his accounting services. He ensured that our financial records were accurate and always up to date. Additionally, he faithfully served on Crossroads Financial Advisory Board, along with other business professionals, providing financial insight and oversight. John, also, donated 50% of any tax preparation revenues he received from a Crossroads’ supporter back to Crossroads.

As a dedicated boy scouts troop leader, John was warm and friendly, imparting nuggets of quiet wisdom whenever given an opportunity to do so. One bit of wisdom he shared that remains with me is, “If you don’t have enough time to do something right the first time, when will you ever find enough time to fix it?” I don’t know whether or not that is an original quote, but it will always be a John Mattrick quote to me. While he was not one to seek the limelight, John was very comfortable serving in our street outreaches, such as troubled neighborhood adopt-a-blocks. In this picture, you can see John in the green pleasantly engaged in conversation while preparing to man a grill at one of those events.

John and his wife Lynn sometimes made their lake cabin available to Crossroads for baptisms and out of the city outings. Here is picture of Joe (upper right) and Ernie (upper left) with a group of freshly baptized brothers and sisters in Christ outside that cabin.

We thank God for the gift he gave this world in the person of John Mattrick. He cared deeply and took Jesus’ command to “love one another as I have loved you” seriously; so he opened his heart and loved deeply all those God sent his way. My last conversation with John was about the changes in church attendance post COVID. He shared how painful it was for him personally when people left the church. He said, “I feel like they are leaving me when they leave.” That was John. We are so grateful for the privilege of knowing, loving and being loved by Him. May God be with his wife, Lynn, their three children, Karen, Jill and Keith, their five grandchildren and his other family and friends as they endeavor to navigate this life without him.